Ripe Dreams

“We have decided, after much deliberation, in a joint decision between parties to renounce technology. The technology designed to improve our lives is largely destroying the environment and decreasing our quality of life . . . We have therefore decided to return to a completely natural lifestyle with the exception of simple lye-based soap, toothbrushing, and sanitation measures such as water treatment and purification.”

“But what if there was something like a meteor or something? Shouldn’t we at least keep the lasers and defense missiles and telescopes?”

Carnivore party representative: “So that we can all miss out on a perfectly good opportunity to put an end to all the malaise and dissatisfaction of our miserable lives?”
Herbivore party representative: “Oh my god, yes. Haha. Please, god, make it end.”